Men, You’re Not Weak - You’re Carrying More Than You Know

He seems fine.Turns up to work.Cracks jokes.Never makes a fuss.Gets it done.

But behind that composed exterior, something’s off.

He hasn’t been sleeping.Feels numb one day, agitated the next.Struggles to explain what’s going on - because he doesn’t fully know himself.But what he does know is that it’s exhausting.

And still, he keeps going.

Because that’s what he was taught.

The Invisible Load Men Are Carrying:

For generations, men have been conditioned to be the strong ones.To carry the emotional weight of others, without ever naming their own.

Messages start early:

• “Big boys don’t cry.”

• “Toughen up.”

• “Don’t be soft.”

• “You’ve got to be the rock.”

So men learn to internalise.To mask pain with humour, work, withdrawal - or silence.

And it works… until it doesn’t.

Until stress becomes insomnia.Frustration becomes anger.Disconnection becomes depression.And the mask becomes a prison.

Not all pain is visible.Not all suffering sounds like crying.Sometimes, it looks like being overly responsible.Like staying busy.Like always being the one to keep it together — even when it’s falling apart inside.

The State of Men’s Mental Health in Australia (2024–2025):

Let’s not sugar-coat this. The stats are harrowing

• 75% of suicide deaths in Australia are men.

  
  

  That’s more than 2,400 lives lost every year - around six men every day.

  
  

  (ABS 2023)

• Suicide is the leading cause of death for Australian men aged 15–44.

• 1 in 8 Australian men experience depression at some point.

  
  

  1 in 5 experience anxiety.

  
  

  But the majority never seek professional help.

• In rural and regional areas, suicide rates for men can be double that of urban areas, often due to isolation, financial pressure, cultural stigma, and lack of accessible services.

• Men are more likely to underreport mental health symptoms, and less likely to receive treatment - until things reach a crisis point.

These aren’t just numbers.They’re fathers. Brothers. Sons. Friends. Colleagues.They’re good men who didn’t feel like they had permission to say, “I’m not okay.”

The Cultural Blueprint: Why So Many Men Struggle to Ask for Help:

Let’s unpack why this runs so deep.

Masculinity, in many cultures - including Australia’s - has been built on stoicism, independence, emotional restraint, and self-reliance.

These traits aren’t inherently bad. But when they become the only options available? That’s when they start hurting more than helping.

Many men learn to:

• Handle it alone

• Stay silent

• Be useful instead of vulnerable

• Prioritise control over connection

• Avoid being “too emotional,” for fear of judgement

And let’s be honest - some men have tried opening up in the past, only to be shut down with:

• “You’ll be right.”

• “Don’t overthink it.”

• “You’re being dramatic.”

So, they stop.

They start bottling it up.They push through.Until they can’t anymore.

And even then - when things break - asking for help still feels like failure.

But here’s the truth:

Asking for support isn’t weak.It’s wise.It’s responsible.It’s brave.

How Mental Health Struggles Show Up in Men:

It’s not always obvious.

Men’s mental health often presents differently - not just emotionally, but physically, behaviourally, and socially.

Common signs include:

• Irritability, anger, or rage (instead of sadness)

• Withdrawn behaviour - zoning out, becoming distant

• Workaholism or over-productivity

• Risky behaviours - speeding, gambling, drugs, over-drinking

• Avoidance of emotions through humour, control, or dismissiveness

• Gut issues, fatigue, headaches - often stress manifesting physically

• Relationship breakdowns caused by emotional unavailability or overwhelm

• A general sense of being “lost” or not knowing who they are anymore

If any of this feels familiar - in yourself or someone you care about - you’re not imagining it.

And no, it’s not just a “rough patch” that’ll pass on its own.

Support That Meets Men Where They Are:

The key is not forcing emotional expression - it’s creating safe, respectful, and pressure-free pathways for men to regulate, reflect, and heal.

For many men, traditional talk therapy can feel overwhelming or ineffective.They might not have the words.They might not want to “unpack everything” in a session.

That’s where body-based and subconscious approaches - like hypnotherapy, breathwork, somatic therapy, and trauma-informed coaching - can offer real value.

These methods:

• Don’t rely on perfect articulation

• Help regulate the nervous system and reduce emotional overload

• Create calm, clarity, and connection without “talking it out” in detail

• Work gently with identity, purpose, and stuck patterns

It’s not about reliving the pain.It’s about giving the system a new way to respond.

For the Men Reading This:

You’re not alone in this.

You’re not the only one who feels like you’ve lost your spark.Or who lies awake with looping thoughts.Or who feels like no one truly sees what you’re carrying.

You don’t need to be on the brink to deserve support.You don’t need a breakdown to have a breakthrough.

There are quieter, steadier ways to shift.Ones that don’t require you to become someone else — just return to who you’ve always been underneath the pressure.

For the People Who Love Them:

This conversation isn’t just for men - it’s for all of us.

If you’re in a relationship with a man who’s struggling, or you’re watching a brother, father, friend or son shut down - it can be hard to know what to do.

You don’t have to fix it.You don’t have to pry.But you can offer:

• Gentle check-ins (“How are you really doing?”)

• Resources

• Encouragement to seek support

• A listening ear without advice

Small moments of connection can open big doors.

Support Services for Men in Australia:

Here are trusted places men can reach out - confidentially, without judgement:

• Lifeline – 13 11 14

  
  

  lifeline.org.au

  
  

  24/7 crisis support

• MensLine Australia – 1300 78 99 78

  
  

  mensline.org.au

  
  

  24/7 support for men facing relationship, emotional or family pressure

• Beyond Blue – Men’s Mental Health

  
  

  beyondblue.org.au

  
  

  Info, support and resources tailored to men

• The Man Cave

  
  

  themancave.life

  
  

  Preventative mental health programs for teenage boys

• Mr Perfect

  
  

  mrperfect.org.au

  
  

  Free, casual BBQs for men to connect and talk

• Gotcha4Life Foundation

  
  

  gotcha4life.org

  
  

  Programs for emotional fitness and suicide prevention

A Final Word:

You don’t have to be broken to want better.You don’t have to be in crisis to start healing.And you don’t have to go it alone.

There is no “right” way to feel.No perfect moment to begin.Just a simple, human truth:

You are allowed to feel.You are allowed to change.You are allowed to be supported.

Let’s keep normalising the conversation - not just for us, but for the next generation of boys who deserve to grow up knowing that real strength includes softness, too.

Julian De RidderClinical Hypnotherapist & CounsellorFlow Hypnosis | Tweed Headswww.flowhypnosis.com.au